Sims 3 "Community"?

One thing I just don't understand about the Sims 3 forums is their obsession with us not communicating with each other. No private messaging system. A friend was banned for being off topic, and the customer service person said "the forums are only for info, not to message each other". How on earth is that a community then? What is the purpose of making someone your "friend" on your profile? It's just a picture on your page. If not for the competitions I would just not go there anymore. It's not even fun other than the comps.

Which leads me to the modeling section. How is it that I have my browser opened, and the first part of today I can see the new threads, and then I eat dinner and come back to see them disappear again. Never closed the browser, just refreshed and *poof*. I don't care about clearing the cashe. That's been done multiple times. I just don't even get how that can be a problem.